“Protect Black Women” — What Does That Mean Exactly?

The most disrespected person in America is the black woman. The most unprotected person in America is the black woman. The most neglected person in America is the black woman. — Malcolm X

To my knowledge, this is the earliest inspiration of the now sweeping and far reaching cry of “Protect Black Women!”

It’s highly unlikely that if you follow Black culture and regularly scroll through your feeds that you have NOT happened upon this phrase — and yet it’s as ambiguous as it is powerful.

I consider it nebulous because as a Black community, it seems we’re all still struggling to define and implement it in daily life.

Take Meg Thee Stallion. Meg was shot by Tory Lanez, a man she knew, loved and trusted. She was also dragged by the internet for hanging with the wrong kind of men and singing the wrong type of songs. The message was clear — Black women incite violence by who they love and how they create.

Then we all had the chance to relive and reexamine the Will Smith / Janet Hubert (The Original Aunt Viv) fiasco. Young Will in the 90s, a rising acting and hip hop star, threw his weight around recklessly branding Janet as an angry Black woman. This “kiss of death,” as she so eloquently put it, was all it took for her to lose her power and pivotal role on the show.

Just a couple weeks’ ago, a viral video of Kevin Samuels, Image Consultant, circulated with him telling a Black woman that the six-figure earners she wanted, in fact, did not want her or her pre-teen son. He continued to berate her as too subpar or average to catch the sight of any high-value man. In the end, Kevin commanded her to “get the fuck off his phone” before swiftly disconnecting the line.

Now, mind you this also came on the heels of another viral video showing a Dallas restaurateur chastising a handful of Black women for twerking on his furniture. The clip shows him dispatching an impassioned tirade into the crowd that lathered on about respectability and culture. Ironically this is after he cites the majority of his consumer base is Black women.

So here’s the question: “What gives others’ the right to treat Black women this way?” What would have happened if it were White or Black men disrespecting the restaurant owner’s establishment? Did he believe himself exempt from applying any decorum based on assumptions made about their character? Would Kevin have dispensed advice the same way had he been talking to a professional White woman? These are all questions worth answering.

Recently, a video made its rounds chronicling a botched raid involving Anjanette Young, a 50-year-old clinical social worker. The clip showed her naked, trembling and crying as she plead with them 43 times to let her go before they realized they had the wrong home.

Could this have occurred with a lily white woman named Becky? Nah. Would they have diminished the lily white woman’s pain by urging her to relax after a whole 20+ minutes of terrorizing her?? Not likely.

And last but not least, today I watched the gripping 7-minute video of Dr. Susan G. Moore, a family physician of 15+years, in raspy-voiced agony as she conveyed the ill treatment she received from IU Health North after being hospitalized due to COVID-19.

She waited hours for pain medication until they ordered a CT scan. You don’t hear me. Dr. Moore, a licensed physician, had to campaign for her own healthcare and yet she still passed away.

In her own words: “You have to show proof that you have something wrong with you in order for you to get the medicine. I put forth, and I maintain, that if I was white, I wouldn’t have to go through that.”

What’s the point of this detailed account against Black women you say?

They illustrate what Black women have known for years— the ways in which the world deals with us is absent of any real dignity.

“Protect Black Women” is more than a call for physical protection— it’s a summoning for emotional, spiritual, mental, financial and familial covering.

It is an active honoring of Black women in every way she can be honored. At the very least, it’s not degrading or disregarding her to the point of destruction for your own self-preservation.

But perhaps that’s our problem; we’re using the wrong term. The word is LOVE not protection. We’re asking you to LOVE Black women as you love yourself.

So how do you properly LOVE Black women you ask? Well…

• When a Black woman shares that she’s been abused, beaten, violated, raped or assaulted, be present and affirm that you are there for her. Ask what you can do to support her — ask what she needs in the moment. Assure her there is nothing about her character, image or person that justifies that level of dehumanization.
• When you don’t understand a Black woman at work, accept that she may have a different personality type just like everyone else at work. Check your biases before you impulsively call her “angry” or “difficult.” And if the behavior proves to be too distracting or disturbing, have a candid, constructive conversation with her about how you can make your relationship more harmonious.
• When you have conflict with a Black woman, treat her like a respectable adult. Get your message across without chiding her like a bad little daughter or berating her. Again, check your biases. Ask yourself if you would treat a White man, White Woman, Black Man, Asian woman the exact same way. If you’re going to be a dick, at least be an equal-opportunity dick.
• Treat her with dignity, Law Enforcement. Give her the benefit of the doubt before breaking into her home guns blazing. Assume that if you’re called out to a welfare check and the door is open, it could be that she intentionally left it open for ventilation or left it open accidentally (#AtatianaJefferson). Consider that if you disrupt her sleep in the middle of the night with battering rams and violent voices that she may be terrified. That there may be someone that loves her and is ready to die for her, strapped with a gun that he’s ready to use (#BreonnaTaylor). And if we insist 43 times that you have the wrong fucking house — you just might have the wrong fucking house (#AnjanetteYoung).

Last but not least, as you continue to “do no harm” to your White patients, include us in that deal as well. When we say we’re in pain, believe us! Do not put the onus on incredibly sick patients to battle you in a hospital room the way lawyers fight in court. Don’t get it twisted: we’re your job, too.

There are other things that can go on this list but let’s start there and see where the nation goes.

Natasha Wade, Your Black Women’s Soul Coach helps Black women satisfy their deepest soul desires in life, love, work and play. Check her out at natashawade.com or on Instagram: @coachnatashawade